The One Day You Shouldn’t Downplay—Your Birthday

You know what I don’t get? As we grow older and (mostly) wiser, birthdays seem to lose their sparkle. Suddenly, they're "just another day." But why?

I’ve always loved my birthday. As a kid, my closest friends would show up at midnight with cake, party poppers, and big smiles. I’d cut the cake surrounded by the people I loved most. It felt like tradition, and honestly, it was the highlight of my year.

Now, I know that sounds a bit privileged—not everyone had that kind of birthday magic growing up. But that’s not the point. The point is: we have the power now.

Adulthood brings baggage, sure. Pressure from work, deadlines, bills, the mental Olympics of "where am I going with my life?" It’s exhausting. But adulthood also gives us freedom—the freedom to choose, to create new traditions, and most importantly, to celebrate ourselves. And yet, we often forget to reward ourselves simply for surviving, for trying, for showing up.

Birthdays make us reflect on time. They can stir up feelings of anxiety, especially if we’re not where we thought we’d be by now. Maybe you’re not married, don’t own a house, or haven’t nailed that dream job. Maybe those "milestones" feel miles away. And when a birthday ends in a zero or a five, that self-imposed pressure? It hits harder.

But here's the thing—wherever you are today, however your journey has unfolded, you’ve come far. And chances are, the sacrifices you've made—mentally, emotionally, physically—aren’t visible to anyone but yourself.

I still remember moving to a new country just before my birthday in 2018. Back home, birthdays meant joy, people, energy. Here? No one knew me. No party, no cake, no familiar faces. It was eye-opening. But it taught me something big: you can’t wait around for others to celebrate you. You have to do it yourself. Because you deserve it.

And why not? You’ve earned it. The older we get, the more experiences we gather. You don’t need to win every battle to deserve a celebration. Sometimes, the sheer act of trying is enough.

Celebrating birthdays doesn’t have to mean going all out with balloons, champagne towers, and a budget that cries for mercy (unless that’s your jam—then absolutely, no judgements here). Sometimes, the real magic is in the simple joys that cost little but feel rich. For me, it’s a long, slightly dramatic drive to one of my favourite spots—music on, main-character energy in full swing. I pack a picnic tapas from Wollys, find the perfect spot, get on with a good book. Honestly, that quiet time? That’s the gift.

There’s something magical about that kind of solitude—just being, breathing, and celebrating the fact that you’ve made it through another year with grace (or at least with stories worth telling).

If you're someone who dreads birthdays or just doesn’t “see the point” anymore, here’s your permission slip to rewrite that story. Here are a few ways to bring the magic back:

• Clear your mind and ask yourself what you like. You’ve got 24 hours—use them how you want. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

• Use gratitude as an anchor. You’re still here, and that’s a gift.

• Give yourself credit. Look in the mirror and speak kindly to yourself. I know it sounds silly, but trust me—affirmations hit different when they come from you.

• Thank your younger self. For everything they did, endured, and built so you could be here.

• Let go of timelines. Life doesn’t run on one clock. Your path is yours, and it’s valid—no matter how different it looks from everyone else’s.

Of course, this kind of self-love isn’t easy. But let this be your sign to lean into it. A great book that helped me shift my mindset is Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen. It’s a gentle but powerful reminder that we can challenge our inner critic—and it even comes with exercises to help reframe negative thoughts.

And lastly—if you’ve got someone in your life who isn’t a “birthday person,” respect that too. We all have different ways of marking time. Ask what makes them feel seen and loved, and meet them there—no more, no less.

So go on—plan that solo spa day, book that dinner, dance in your living room, buy yourself the damn cake. Because your life is worth celebrating. And birthdays? They're just a brilliant excuse to start.